Monthly Archives: July 2015

What is a Soul Mate?


“I imagined you here just to love you.   Perhaps you imagined me here for the same reason.” ~ Matt Kahn

“Love is… the remedy, the melody, the poison and the pain.” ~ Louise Welsh

The other day I saw a post on Face Book that said most people are confused about what a soul mate is.  Basically that we romanticize the notion of a soul mate.  The quote said that a soul mate is a person you connect with and you both agree on a soul level to do your work.  I really resonated with the idea.

I think people are looking desperately for their soul mate, thinking he’s going to come in on a white horse or she’s going to worship the ground you walk on and you will be blissed out until the end.  That sounds romantically beautiful, but I think it’s horseshit!

I really do think our soul mate is part of our soul family and our soul family helps to support us in our goals and challenges so that we do the work we came here to do.  I believe soul mates have deep love and respect for each other, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.  I believe a good relationship or marriage ebbs and flows like the ocean as we work out our issues and decide what behaviors no longer serve us and then work through the changes.

The other day my husband and I were on a long car ride.  I was telling him what I thought about this quote and the idea of soul mates.  I told him for example, that he gets stuck in a pattern and my job is to challenge him to change the patterns and to make conscious decisions, not to do things by routine or habit without thinking about why he is doing something.

He asked what he does for me and I said that he makes me speak up for my needs (over and over) because I decided in this relationship I wasn’t going to be invisible.  But, he always forgets what I ask for so I have to ask again.  I get to practice saying my truth.  After thinking about that I became depressed, which led to more talking.   I don’t like not being heard.  That little quote led to such deep, healing conversations.

I love positive quotes.  They are food for the heart that helps to heal our souls.  I want to radiate love and light and truth and joy.  I want to help people heal and I want to feed their souls so that the love keeps radiating and rippling outwards, healing the world, one small act at a time.

“Because the best way to know truth or beauty is to try to express it.  And what is the purpose of existence here or yonder but to discover truth and beauty and to express it, … share it with others?” ~ Brenda Ueland