“You can sit forever, lamenting how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until your death, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to rectify past behavior.” ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Last time we looked at judgment, so today I wanted to follow up with forgiveness. We judge ourselves. We judge others. We need to forgive ourselves and we need to forgive others. In my reality, our whole lives are a series of lessons and events. It is with our perspectives and our emotional attachments to them that decides what happened and if we are going to hold onto those view points or not.
Maybe we would change events or decisions we made in the past if we could. But if we learned from them, I don’t believe they were mistakes. They were life lessons that created the strength and wisdom or the compassion and motivation that drives us today. How is that a bad thing?
Years ago, I used to love to tell my “stories”. It’s amazing how loaded and dramatic a story can be, depending on if you are still hooked or a victim of that story, or if it no longer holds a charge. I don’t tell my “stories” very often anymore. (When I first stopped telling my stories, I didn’t know what to talk about!)
There actually was a grieving process, letting go of all those events where I was a victim. I needed to forgive people for things that happened to me and I needed to forgive myself for not having healthier boundaries, not trusting my intuitions or making poor choices.
Several years ago, my Dad apologized to me for letting me marry my first husband (at 19 years old) who was a drug addict/alcoholic. I could see it weighed so heavy on his mind. That was 32 years ago!! I told him, “Dad, don’t worry for one more second. First of all, being 19, I would have never listened to you. Second of all, I don’t regret a single moment. I learned so much and I wouldn’t be who I am today without that experience.” The weight that lifted off his shoulders was a visible load. I only wished he expressed himself sooner!!
I believe I have forgiven all others for any wrong doings or perceived wrong doings. I now realize that some things that happen, happen because we don’t understand how we impact others, we are ignorant of our behavior, until it is brought to our attention somehow, or maybe we just plain misunderstood what happened.
I have a few things left to forgive myself for, but I am doing good work.
Will you join me in my focus to appreciate and see the best in ourselves and others? It truly will make the world a better place to live.
“To not forgive is to not understand how the universe works and how you fit into it.” ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer