Monthly Archives: March 2014

Who are we to JUDGE?

“Judgement means that you view the world as you are, rather than as it is.”                                    ~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Judgement.  We do it every day.  We do it several times a day.  We decide about something when we don’t have all the facts.  We judge people for how they dress, how they wear their hair, what their job is and how they show up in this world even though we do not stand in their shoes.

We don’t think about someone that dresses too young for their age might be having a hard time aging!  We don’t know why someone is being rude; either in person or driving.  While it is not okay to be rude, what is behind that?  We don’t know if someone in their life has just died or is dying.  We don’t know if they are experiencing so much pain, they can barely get home.  We don’t know if they are deciding if they should get divorced or keep trying.  We don’t know what motivates another person.

I think what we can do to be our best selves is to be compassionate and not take it personally.  Maybe we can offer a kind word or a smile.  Maybe we can say a mental prayer for them.   Maybe we just have to let it go, walk around them, give them space.  We don’t have to engage internally or externally.

Once I started taking myself out of the equation and realized everyone reacts from their own perspective and the values that they were brought up with, my life got so much easier.  Who knows how someone else received parenting?  Who knows what shadows they wrestle with each day?

The last several years I have been working hard on the many layers of me.  What’s inside of me?  What makes me tick?  What stops my process?  I am growing and healing the inner me and the outer me gets more radiant each day as I stand up for my authentic self.  I feel if I focus on being the best ME (the microcosm) I really can effect the macrocosm.  (the world!)

If I practice gratitude, nonjudment and unconditional love, if I find my joy, I can only help to spread joy.  If we focus on what work needs to be done on ourselves and celebrate loving ourselves and accepting ourselves, I really think we can make a difference in the world.  We won’t be contributing by putting negativity out into the world and we will be projecting love and joy because we get it.  WE get it.  We understand that everyone wants to be loved and accepted and we can help.

Be our best selves, that’s how we can help.

“We can only learn to love by loving.”  ~ Doris Murdock

The Menopausal Attaire

Maxine with chocolate

“I refuse to admit that I am more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.” ~ Nancy Astor

Seriously, what to wear during this long phase of transformation?  I’m about 5-10lbs heavier than I used to be but, I don’t want to buy new clothes.  I am hoping my body resumes it’s normal shape on the other side of menopause…

I feel fat, frumpy and tired!  Black yoga pants are the daily event.  I don’t have to squeeze into them, they make me look thin and can act as camouflage if a rogue period rears it’s head on some random day.  I think I have 3-4 eggs left and my uterus coughs one up every now and then.

The next part of my attaire is a colorful camisole. Forget bras.  Too uncomfortable.  If it’s extra long, it can make up for my tops that seem to be getting shorter.  Besides, the pretty color peeps out of my black top and adds a little festivity to the ensemble.  Next, the aforementioned, black top.  I have several of them.  Ones with sparkles, funny sayings or pictures, nice looking ones.  Your frumpy feeling body is looking thin in black, the splashes of color add some happiness… You have comfort and you are presentable.

The way our bodies change shape and the weird things they do, remind me of when we used to flatten silly putty onto the comics and make misshapened figures.  Our skin gets looser and we get “wisdom” spots (as my skin specialist likes to call them), our triceps wave when we wave, our boobs look down at our shoes…  Geez…

I have realized something.  I am obsessed about gaining weight.  But, I am MORE obsessed about eating chocolate.  I know how to loose this last 5-10 lbs, but I don’t want to give up my snacks.  The chocolate is really satisfying during those few minutes that I am eating it!

Seriously though, as we age, we become more wise and have so much more intuition and insight.  We begin to realize that our bodies are only part of us.  There is so much more to us than our outward appearances.  We have been seasoned and tenderized over the years.  We have so much to offer our family, friends and community.  As we say goodbye to our youth, we can begin to embrace our wisdom years.

I’ll take this peace of mind over my 20 year old body any day.  Really.

“Since I have also now reached the age when I have positively not an eyelash of physical vanity left: my clackers can rattle down to my flat feet and my wig drop off in front of the howling mob for all I care.”  ~ Caitlin Thomas